I’ve just stolen 20 minutes from my ridiculously hectic day. Today I am project manager, trainer, writer, conversationalist, and housewife and to add to my list of feats, laden with the female version of man flu. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. But, since I’ve managed to steal a rare slot in my day and whilst I wait for my next meeting, I thought now would be a good time to write about my recent thoughts and expeditions.
Deciding to start my own business was the best decision I’ve ever made: while I sit here at 4pm on a Tuesday afternoon eating cake and drinking coffee in the sunshine – after starting work at 8am and this being my first break – I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have my haphazard days; while others are chained to their desks clock watching until 5.30pm, I have the precious gift of being able to manage my own days and work from where I please.
The last few months have taken me to many different surroundings; offices in South Kensington and Hammersmith; Aldershot and Cambridge not to mention a few days stint in Bonn – in the hotel that time forgot – and, virtually – in the IT sense of the word – I’ve worked all over the world. I can’t help thinking what an exciting life I have signed up for and how lucky I am to have had and taken this opportunity to do what I wanted with my life. My travels have introduced me to all sorts of people; from actors to scientists; psychologists to IT technicians; receptionists to CEOs; every one a new and enriching experience, every one teaching me something new about the world of work and every one adding a new piece to my jigsaw puzzle of experience.
Despite my love of being on the move, it seems a rare moment that I get time to write; I have plans to write a book – it’s very much work in progress – but I keep wondering ‘how does one fit it all in?!’ One day I hope to have a family too but I can’t yet imagine a world without my writing headspace. Who are these women who have it all?!!
Yesterday was the last day of my 10-week course in non fiction creative writing; those 2 hours once a week were pure escapism; I got to meet people who have the same desire as me – to put pen to paper and share their deepest thoughts, be it about history, finance, fashion or love, each one of us has that desire to get the words out on paper and to share them with the world. I miss it already. It’s true that being a writer can be lonely, although in my experience, not the loneliness which writers often describe; I feel lonely in that I want that space, that time away to write, but I’m lonely in that others don’t seem to understand my desire, my need for that time to spill my thoughts, like tinned tomatoes sloshing from the can.
As I write this I realize I sound conflicted. On the one hand I love my job; it’s creative, interesting and challenging; on the other hand I struggle to find the time to do my real passion – write. Ultimately, I am happy, I have a fantastic deal and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My conclusion? I just need to keep stealing 20 minutes.